Portrait of A Stalker

I’ve been the victim of a very clever stalker for many years. No matter how vigilantly I maintain travel secrecy, somehow he manages to discover my flight itineraries. He is a master of disguise, skillful at changing hair and eye color, yet I am quick to spot him — invariably he is seated within two or three rows of me on every flight I take. My efforts to evade him by switching airlines and booking at the last possible moment have failed pitifully. Still he is there — always there — screaming in his mother’s arms. Without exaggeration, this screaming baby has followed me to six continents.

I have noticed that the screaming baby favors a wardrobe which is almost as loud as his shriek, consisting mainly of well coordinated pajama ensembles featuring bold, menacing prints. Animal stripes seem to be a favorite. Very often the mother of the screaming baby is dressed in an equally frightening manner, though this is not always the case. (Now, I realize that there are many screaming babies out there. I can only describe the one that shadows me. Yours may look entirely different.)

I have finally resigned myself to the presence of my screaming baby, even creating a sad little game of trying to spot those tell-tale pajama prints and his cranky face among the herd of economy class passengers milling about the departure gate before each flight. I rarely win this game, so adept is the screaming baby at blending in — until his lungs burst open during take-off.

Though this may sound unkind, I can’t help but wish this baby would stay at home more often. It’s nothing personal, mind you, just a hope that one day the tears might stop and Screaming Baby will miraculously morph into Smiling Baby, enabling all of us on board to get a little sleep.


4 Comments on “Portrait of A Stalker

  1. Definitely a read that made me laugh (which I’m sure would have been the case even if I hadn’t had my own stalker encounters earlier today).

    • Glad this gave you a laugh, zaneraleigh. I was really in need of a laugh myself after a long flight (yes, with the screaming baby nearby!) only to find that I can’t reach the island I live on because a typhoon is about to come through. So I decided to write this post, which did cause me to chuckle…

  2. Hah! You ain’t heard nuthin’ til you’ve been on a 19 hour flight with 170 prepubescent students returning home to China. 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Caro the Expat

Ang pamamasyal ng bagong salta - the wanderings of a newcomer




Travel Blog of a Budget Traveler sharing stories on travel, books & Vegetarian Food

An Indian Summer™

From maple leaves to mango trees. I'm a Canadian woman living on a tropical island in the Philippines. Welcome to my world...

Kathleen Ford's Travel and Adventure Blog

From maple leaves to mango trees. I'm a Canadian woman living on a tropical island in the Philippines. Welcome to my world...

Naked Ideation

Dive the Mind

The Displaced Nation

A home for international creatives

the dingo was here

Howling on the Internet

The girl with the broken wing and a mermaid tail

a crazy girls thoughts, dreams, inspirations, rantings and her nonsense blah's

Silver Lining

The blog dedicated to finding positivity, optimism and gratitude in our daily lives.

Dustin N Salzano

dustin salzano, salzano dustin, dustin n salzano

A Note From Abroad

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sailaway from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain

Optimistic Kid

Be Somebody


This Blog site is about "the view" according to Estee...


Fotografía y viajes

Eastern Sea Star

This site will feature a wide variety of posts


From maple leaves to mango trees. I'm a Canadian woman living on a tropical island in the Philippines. Welcome to my world...

%d bloggers like this: